Tap tap tap. Excuse me, is this mic on?

Hi. My name isn’t important but I am 37 years old, divorced, single and a mom.

And call me crazy, but I’ve decided to blog about it.

Let’s talk about that adorable little “d” word for a second, DIVORCE. You know how “they” say what doesn’t kill you only makes you strong, well who the hell are “they” anyway and I bet you they never went through a divorce while trying to maintain a work life balance, making sure you washed not only your child’s butt daily but man oh man the struggles of trying to shower with a glass of Malbec in your hand is real. Or how about remembering to feed yourself in between work, after school activities, homework and bedtime routine...again all with a glass of wine in your hand?

Good news is, I made it it out on the other side unscathed and so did my kid! If this is you, and you are going through it, my best advice is this; give yourself five emotional minutes and then be gangster. Buck up buttercup! Put on your big girl panties, break out the plastic wine glasses so you don’t break your crystal ( so many casualties throughout my divorce, a moment of silence for all my broken Riedel glasses) and remember this, it is only temporary.

(Sniffle, sniffle, sniffle..insert crazy emotional roller coaster for months after divorce)

Now that we got the divorce thing out of the way, I am just hanging out here being a single mom and KILLING it. Yes, you read that correctly, and no you don’t need to have your eyes checked.

When I say single, let’s be clear; I mean totally single, The I don’t have a boyfriend, don’t have a cute guy I check in with, only person I plan on cooking dinner for every night is my kid, I spend my kid free weekends forgetting to feed myself-wearing my underwear- binge watching Netflix -covered in cat hair, and don’t you dare ask me to try and catch the bouquet kinda single at the wedding I probably didn’t want to rsvp to but I did, just-for-one.

I never imagined at 37 I would be sitting here blogging about single life after divorce because let’s face it, it isn’t exactly every little girls dream to spend way too much money on a wedding only to get divorced 12 years later and to be thrown back into a dating pool that appears to be in a drought, but I definitely blew out my candles on my 37th birthday cake this past July, definitely divorced, positively single and loving my life with my daughter and my two cats (only two cats, that doesn’t make me a cat lady right?)

The thing is, I have had many adventures in dating since my divorce almost two years ago. Some were GOOD, some were BAD and some could have used some very hot water and BLEACH.

In the past year, I have had my fair share of hook ups, tinder rendezvous and a handful of dates with male friends that I probably should have just turned down from the get go.

I think it is safe to say that my girlfriends have become expert internet stalkers and can pretty much find out anything and everything about anyone just because they love me so much. I will shoot my girlfriend a text to tell her I met a guy and within seconds of getting his name she goes silent, I know exactly why. She is in the process of stalking every social media platform-trying to put her eyes on him, checking for mutual friends and evaluating whether or not she likes him. And to think 20 years ago dates only had to worry about impressing our parents. Ha! The good news is, my adventures in dating have left me with some pretty hilarious stories that I will share with you along the way.

On being a single mom...
Now this is one part of the journey that no one could have prepared me for and I’m about to get really real about it. Like all of a sudden you no longer fit in at school functions or sporting events because you are one and not part of two. You all of a sudden become the mom with two heads because you don’t have a husband and must be on the “prowl.” Ummm...yes Incase you are wondering, I have heard exactly this. Craziness. Most times I’m the one in yoga pants, hair a mess, no makeup and late, why..because I’m doing it alone. Do I really look like I’m there trying to look like a snack?

The best part of being a single mom, is being a single mom. My kid and I get to do what we want, when we want. Ice cream for dinner? Why not! Impromptu weekend away? Sure! Baseball games, carnivals, shopping, movies, late night snuggles and my personal favorite...when she sleeps diagonal across my queen size bed (said no mom who actually likes to sleep ever).

SO.....

Call me crazy...but I’ve decided to air my dirty laundry after divorce and blog about my life. I have mixed thoughts about putting myself “out there” for anyone and everyone (including family, strangers and Ahem...former boyfriends and guys I’ve dated) to read. But I have decided that these things need to be aired out. It is time someone talked about being a divorced single mom in a way that is RAW and honest. So follow me on my journey, I promise you that you will laugh, you might cry and you will get some great information on how to navigate this crazy life.

Cheers!