There is one thing I miss about my pre kid days, the ability to have a full blown melt down; the kind that I could spend the entire weekend in bed, living off chips and cheap wine-all the while whining to my girlfriends on the phone until something happens and I just magically feel better. These are usually the kind of breakdowns that would occur after some two bit jerk would break a girls heart or you get passed up for the promotion at work. The dating thing is a hard one for sure- being a divorced girl in her thirties I have been subjected to them all, blind dates, dating apps and the friend fix-ups. Some times they didn’t even have the decency to dump me, they would just disappear- ghost.
See the thing is, once you become a mom, losing your shit just isn’t an option anymore. Despite the fact that there are times when we hardly feel like feeding ourselves or washing our own asses, there is always a little person that depends on us to take care of them. And frankly, society isn’t very cool with you not holding up to your end of the parenting bargain-it’s not like caring for a fish, you go to jail if you forget to feed the kid.
As a single mom, you don’t even have the back up of a partner to hold things down while you cry in the shower. Trust me, they will find you and they will want to know why mommy’s crying-and that is not a conversation one is ever prepared to have, especially if you are already a hot mess. Of course you could do it after they have gone to sleep, but then you run the risk of not getting enough sleep yourself and being dog tired, puffy eyed and useless in the morning.
I will say this, one of the good things about being a single mom Is that you quickly learn what is worth being upset about and what is not-I’m not saying I don’t worry about anything, I mean-Im a single mom for goodness sake. I’m just saying I can take a step back and evaluate a situation and determine what is really a crisis and what isn’t a lot easier. Like the time “Prince Charming” turned out to be a disappearing frog. The old me might have spiraled into despair but now I shake it off and count my blessings- he probably was prone to balding and lived in his mothers basement anyway.
Cheers!
