Whether you are here because you just got off of the emotional divorce roller-coaster or you are just too busy being super mom, soccer, mom, I need a tissue mom or work is just kicking your ass; there comes a time in every single gals life when you just don’t want to be bothered with all the drama of a relationship..and NEWS FLASH this is 2019…you don’t have to in order to get laid ANYMORE.
BUT just because it is no longer completely taboo to have sex outside of a text book relationship doesn’t mean you should be jumping into bed with every Joe Shmoe the universe throws your way.
Fortunately, there is a rather simple solution for the “I don’t want relationship but I want to get laid” dilemma: the friends with benefits.
This type of relationship is designed to be a stress free, uncomplicated without commitment, drama free zone. There is the one TINY little problem that I like to defer to human nature, that has the ability to destroy everything I just mentioned and it is most commonly referred to as (insert whiny voice) “feelings.”
I have been both a friends with benefits all star and an epic emotionally attached failure, so the advice that I am about to bestow upon you comes from experience.
Rule #1 for choosing a “friends with benefits” (here by known as FWB) is to always keep it casual and stress free by choosing the right partner ladies. To ensure it remains all fun and games you must chose the right teammate. As I mentioned earlier, the moment one of the two people catch feelings the fun immediately comes to a screeching halt. How do you know if it’s happening? You will know if you all of sudden have the overwhelming urge to cook him dinner before you “go at it like teenagers” and then you want to “cuddle.” Trust me, you DO NOT want to fall for you FWB.
My best advice, pick a FWB that you could never in million years ever see yourself dating. Maybe he is way too young for you or talks in an annoying high pitched voice, either way be certain he has at least one deal breaker that you can fall back on incase you start to have those girlfriend type urges.
Which brings me to another really important point, you should be attracted to your FWB but if you are having porn star, carefree sex with the hottest guy you have ever seen..you are BEGGING to catch feelings. So when choosing a FWB make sure the only fluttering you feel is coming from your nether regions and not your heart.
When choosing a FWB you should also be sure he isn’t bringing permanent guests into your life; when he is done rocking your world and you part ways you want everything he came with to go with him. In short, just because he smells good and wears sexy underwear doesn’t mean he is clean. You are a grown ass woman who is responsible for not only herself but if you are reading this you might also have kids and you need to be able to ask the important questions…like.. “hey bruh, do you have any unusual itching? Discharge? STDS? Your body is a temple, don’t sacrifice it for seven shades of “oh shit that’s gonna require antibiotics.”
Another important thing to keep in mind when choosing your potential FWB is that it should never be your guy best friend. Now you are probably thinking, why the hell not? You know everything about each other, you are comfortable around him and clearly you won’t catch feelings because you haven’t already. SEX CHANGES EVERYTHING. Keep it moving.
At the end of the day, the middle of the night or the first thing before work; you want your FWB to be a stress reliever for you. The moment it feels like it becomes work, or the interactions become difficult…high tail it out of there and don’t look back (this includes not banging your ex ladies, he is also on the not acceptable FWB list). The bottom line, in this day and age it is perfectly fine to put the needs of your lady parts front and center but do not sell your heart to do so.
Cheers!
