There are many things in life that can happen unexpectedly, one of them being falling in love. Ya know, that feeling that rushes over you without the slightest warning, leaves you feeling tight in the chest and short of breath (no it’s not a heart attack ladies but surviving one of those might feel a whole lot easier some times). It’s not always a cut and dry event, sometimes your head may be screaming NO so loudly that it can be heard from outer space BUT your heart seams to drown out the yelling with its thumping. Occasionally we are in denial or too stubborn to answer loves call but eventually it will grab our attention and we are left wondering what just hit us. The truth is, I never expected to fall in love when I did and I’m not so sure how I feel about it.

Let me give you all a little background; it all started with a whimsical swipe right on a dating app and a dinner outside in the rain. The universe had sent me this funny, handsome, polite guy who dare I say it, had his shit together and was not scared off by my past indiscretions. We spent some time together for a couple weeks only to discover we were both still cleaning up our past relationships and weren’t ready to begin anything new; so it was at that very moment this dynamic friendship began to grow.

The more time we spent together, the more I wanted to be there for him and the more I realized he was always there for me. We would have fun doing absolutely nothing and laugh at everything. We were just happy to be together on good days and when one of us were having a terribly bad day. He became my refuge from work, parenting, lack of sleep and crazy tinder dates; all while I incessantly denied that he could possibly be perfect for me.

It wasn’t until life got busy for the both of us and we went a couple weeks without talking that I began questioning everything I thought I knew. I was out on a date with a new guy I had met on Tinder, driving in awkward silence when a little voice popped into my head and yelled-if it was him you would be laughing, it would be easy, you would be having fun- why in gods name are you out with anyone else?!
I had already been drinking so I had to fight the urge to call my friend, and god please don’t let me text him. But I needed to tell him how I felt. In hindsight I had never been more grateful for my lack of focus that night because I must have gotten sidetracked and the universe gave me a Hail Mary-I didnt bust out with any crazy I-love-you’s…..just yet. Instead I waited until the “perfect” time. And what I mean by perfect is having ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife (yes Alanis, it is ironic).

You probably are dying to know what happened; did he reciprocate? Did I get my Hollywood happy ending? Let’s just say this..remember Julia Roberts in my best friends wedding? Yea, she didn’t get the guy either. But I will tell you this, he is my flashlight in the dark and maybe the universe is preparing me for a blackout?

Cheers!